When I was three, my parents took me to the hospital. And, for the first half of my life, I assumed something was wrong with me as well. Why was I fine shooting pressure-filled foul shots in front of thousands of people, but overcome with anxiety if made to change homerooms? Why did people think I was uncaring when I actually cared so much that it could be paralyzing? And why did it take so much damn energy for me to engage in small talk and flirt? You have no idea how relieved I felt after learning there was an actual name for people built the way I was. And, the gradual acceptance and embrace of being an introvert actually helped me socially. Ironically, learning that there was nothing wrong with considering small talk, flirting, and approaching women to be arduous tasks helped me get better at doing it. There was still one problem. I was and still am a Black male.
7 Things You Need To Know If You In Love With An Introvert
Pinterest Being an extrovert with a hot temper I find it difficult to deal with introverted people. Most people, and I was no exception, credit numerous stereotypes about introverts. Yes, they are reserved, sometimes strange and hard to understand, but they are people as well.
Introverts get a bad rap in a world that celebrates extroversion and “people-persons”. There are things introverts wish you knew about them that would help any relationship or situation.
Giving her the space to do this without guilt or nagging means you both win in the end. Small talk is not our strong suit. Deeper conversations are where we shine. However, discussions on more meaningful topics truly catch my interest and I can ramble on and on or listen at length with keen interest. Understand that our personalities are different and that we have our own way of loving. That said, the occasional nudge to help us come out of our shells is welcome.
It is ideal in a balanced relationship. If my wife never got me out, I might never go. Sometimes silence really is golden. Sometimes the greatest intimacy is just being together in comfortable silence. We might be slow to warm up so just be patient, OK? I truly am such a friendly, sweet-natured oddball that yearns for friendships and a boyfriend but I need to be invited to join a discussion or event otherwise I feel like I am being a bother or intrusive.
A How-To The future is now, the times they have a-changed, and humankind has been cleaved into two disparate groups: However, rather than waging a spectacular Mad Max-style war on one another, in the modern age, the exuberant and the introspective live in, for the most part, harmony. As such, there are many relationships where an extroverted sort may find themselves shacked up with their inverse. Through their innate empathy, understanding and compassion, introverts often make the most wonderful partners.
An introvert can be every bit as socially inclined as the next person, however, while more outgoing types prefer their socialising loud and frantic, introverts value deeper and more intense interactions, ideally on a one to one basis.
2. Find a balance between your need for socializing and your partner’s need for solitude. One of the largest challenges that an introvert-extrovert couple can have is .
Everyone expects an introvert to be shy and reclusive. Even though we spend way more time introverting than following the crowd, people only see our outgoing side. If they are around to see us go from fully charged, to depleted, they will usually think one of three things: We are just as perplexed by our own behaviour. You need alone time before and after socializing. Your social energy has an expiry date. Ample alone time before and after social spurts helps you to recharge.
Why We ALL Need To Date Like Introverts
Kids labeled as introverts at a young age may grow up with a built-in insecurity about successfully making conversation , conducting small talk at a party, or even connecting with people on a date. Regardless of how true or not these things are, there are certain stereotypes associated with being classified as an introvert or extrovert. Per a Plenty of Fish spokesperson, 75 percent of introverts and 72 percent of extroverts actually have no preference when it comes to dating either party, especially given the fact that online dating has only served to blur the lines between the two.
When it comes to dating, introverts can even have the upper hand. Conversation expert Celeste Headlee explains that there are five specific advantages held by the introverted among us.
Opposites attract, or at least they do for psychologist, author of Introvert Power, and self-proclaimed introvert Laurie Helgoe, PhD: Her husband of 35 years is an extrovert. Still, she tells me.
Unlike extroverts, who feel at ease talking and making their feelings and opinions known to anyone who will listen, introverts tend to keep their feelings and opinions on the inside, at least until you get to know them. Because introverts are harder to get to know and harder to read, they may come off unfriendly. Not surprisingly, dating can be more challenging for the introvert. Yet attractive people can be introverted too, even shy — the Attractive Introvert A.
Back in high school, I was a cute girl — nothing special, but attractive. But it was a powerful lesson for me that I often appeared unapproachable to men. With one couple I know, both A. Tips for Introverted Singles As I discuss in my books , there are some ways to make yourself more approachable and increase how many dates you get.
Apr 17, GettyGetty Images When my partner and I first moved in together, the biggest source of conflict in our relationship was how loudly it’s appropriate to listen to Bikini Kill while washing the dishes Me: But a very close second was the disparity in our social drives. I happen to be married to a classic introvert someone who is usually drained, rather than energized, by large groups of people , while I tend to be much more outgoing.
Graphic Novel, Self Help, Psychology Digital/Print ( pages, ANDREWS MCMEEL) This illustrated gift book of short comics illuminates author Debbie Tung’s experience as an introvert in an extrovert.
We discouraged the inner journey, the quest for a center. So we lost our center and have to find it again. In many cases it is even exalted as the superior personality type. Before we go any further, I want to get one thing straight. Extroverts are not superior to introverts, and vice versa. We are different personality types with different needs, desires, and behaviors. Unfortunately, in our culture, different is scary.
How Extroverts and Introverts Can Have Happy, Healthy Relationships
This approach to life sustains you in many ways and you have many friends, and you do your best to connect with them on a regular basis; and you get together three or four times a month with the ones who live near to you. You regularly host dinner parties, barbeques, and swim parties. He or she is a high introvert.
The Introverts Advantage is a light hearted inviting guide discussing all the ins and outs of being an introvert. Of course extroverts are covered too but they aren’t the main attraction.
Content provided on this site is for entertainment or informational purposes only and should not be construed as medical or health, safety, legal or financial advice. Click here for additional information. He likes to be around people and seems to be able to work a crowd, no matter who is there. He gains energy and happiness being around other people and being the center of attention. However, I am the opposite and consider myself an introvert. These are pretty typical characteristics of an introvert , and some other characteristics can sometimes be taken out of context to anyone who does not define themselves as introverted.
It took my husband awhile to understand my personality quirks, and, for him, seeing there were others like me you know, other introverts , taught him to take these characteristics of mine a lot less personally. Make them the center of attention — avoid places like karaoke where your date will be expected to sing or to a comedy club where the comedian may point your date out. Help them blend in — going to a bar with a live band is more preferable. You can still enjoy the music and the atmosphere, but by not making your date the center of the attention, you will both be happier.